People Helper Tools

Below are "tools" (articles) you may need to help yourself and/or help others.

Index of 28 Topics - Scroll Down to See the Specific Article Link

NOTE: All documents are in Adobe Reader PDF format.

Emotional / Relationship Issues

1. Why Does God Allow...?

2. Unhealthy Anger

3. Circles of Responsibility

4. The Biblical Pattern for Reconciliation

5. Fair Communication Rules

6. Forgiveness: Part I - Anger

7. Forgiveness: Part II - Avoiding Revenge

8. Forgiveness: Part III - Memories

9. Freedom from Perfectionism

10. God Uses Problems to Meet Personal Needs

11. Dealing with Unresolved Conflict with Parents

How To...

12. How to Gain Emotional Freedom

13. How to Heal After a Mate's Affair

14. How to Heal from Religious or Spiritual Abuse

15. How to Live with a Self-Centered Person

16. How to Rebuild from Failure

17. How to Deal with a Passive, Angry Person

18. How to Use the Tool of Journaling

19. How to Deal with the Destructiveness of Pornography

20. How to Reason Beyond Suicide

21. How to Reduce Anger in Children

22. How to Restore Lost Identity

23. How to Avoid Traps When Choosing a Mate

People Helping

24. Ten Counseling Tips

25. The Five Basic Aspects of Biblical Counseling

26. The Five Benefits Believers Have to Work Through Problems

27. The Four Characteristics of a Biblical Counselor

28. Why Counselors Be People of Holiness and Integrity

Scroll Down to See the Specific Article Link

1. Why Does God Allow...?

The number one question counselees tend to ask when a major problem or crisis strikes them personally or someone close to them is, “why”? That’s a very normal response. It is one of the first issues addressed in both the Old and the New Testaments.

Allow 111214 .pdf
Adobe Acrobat document [526.8 KB]

2. Unhealthy Anger

God-designed emotions are a gift. They were designed by God at creation and they were declared “good.” They add color to life like the multi-colored rainbow. They can make life rich and full, but...

Correct Unhealthy Anger LN 022908.pdf
Adobe Acrobat document [235.2 KB]

3. Circles Of Responsibility

The concept of “Circles of Responsibility” is one of the most powerful biblical tools for working through conflict in any relationship. The principle of circles of responsibility is one of the ways of God for dealing with conflict.

Circles of Responsibility 121715 LN.pdf
Adobe Acrobat document [433.7 KB]

4. The Biblical Pattern for Reconciliation

What is the Biblical pattern for reconciliation? Recognize and take ownership of your sin, behaviors, and failures. Confess these things appropriately to God and others.. Repent--a change of direction--and rebuild trust that you have destroyed because of your sin. Reconcile on the basis of healing from the hurts caused by the sin.

Reconcilation, Biblical Pattern 112515 [...]
Adobe Acrobat document [368.0 KB]

5. Fair Communication Rules

Every relationship is bound to have conflicts, which may include an argument or fight. This is also true regarding churches, schools, businesses, and families – sons, daughters, sons-in-law, daughters-in-law, and other inlaws.

What are Ten Fair Communication Rules 10[...]
Adobe Acrobat document [413.1 KB]

6. Forgiveness: Part I - Anger

One of the common reasons anger is not viewed in any positive light is that there is very little written, spoken, or taught from a positive perspective. Seek to understand anger from a different viewpoint.

Forgive-Anger-Part I 081215 .pdf
Adobe Acrobat document [330.7 KB]

7. Forgiveness: Part II - Avoiding Revenge

One reason people find it hard to forgive is their deep desire for revenge for past hurts. Feelings of the need for revenge can be the back door to bring about forgiveness.

Forgive-Revenge Part II 111214 .pdf
Adobe Acrobat document [441.4 KB]

8. Forgiveness Part III - Memories

One of the hardest obstacles to forgiveness may be the feeling that “I am unable to forgive because I can’t forget.” It is one thing to forgive, it is another thing to learn to live with the memories of the hurts we received or caused. It is one thing to be forgiven and another to learn to live with the consequences of the hurt and damage sin has caused.

Forgiveness - Memories Part III 111214 .[...]
Adobe Acrobat document [417.2 KB]

9. Freedom From Perfectionism

Much long-term emotional pain has been caused by this one negative personality characteristic. Perfectionism is even seen in the Christian qualities of diligence, excellence, sacrifice, and correctness. Perfectionism is sometimes labeled as an admirable trait, which then increases perfectionistic tendencies.

Perfectionism 100114 .pdf
Adobe Acrobat document [723.8 KB]

10. God Uses Problems to Help Meet Pesonal Needs

Many behaviors or actions come from real or perceived needs. In God's perfect plan, man's needs were met completely. The sin of Adam and Eve created unmet emotional and spiritual needs. Through a personal relationship with Jesus, all our basic needs are met.

Identify Needs 112816.pdf
Adobe Acrobat document [636.0 KB]

11. Dealing With Unresolved Conflict With Parents

Read this real story about "Mark" and his parents and how they were able to ease the conflict in their relationship.

Youth Survive in Adult World 022714 .pdf
Adobe Acrobat document [547.6 KB]

12. How To Gain Emotional Freedom

By analyzing the "black box" recordings in our lives, we can hope to determine what went wrong in our relationships. God has designed a “flight recorder” called the heart--literally the mind--where life’s events, thoughts, and emotions are recorded. God-guided reflection becomes an "insider look" into our hearts to determine what is working and what is not working. Usually, Identifying our negative emotions can put us on a healing journey. Then we can adjust and correct our lives towards God-honoring behaviors.

Emotional Freedom 111114 .pdf
Adobe Acrobat document [604.5 KB]

13. How To Heal After Mate's Affair

There is no deeper wound in a marriage than an affair. Adultery potentially undoes the ideal relationship that God designed for a married man and woman. Gen. 2:29, “…a man should leave his father and mother and be joined (“cling”) to his wife and they shall become one flesh.” Matt. 5:19, “.

Therefore, what God has joined together, let no man separate” (regardless of the culture or religion, not just Christians). Marriage is a social institution designed by God. It is not a Christian institution.

To read and study more download the document below.

How to Heal after Mate's Affair 021715 .[...]
Adobe Acrobat document [552.4 KB]

14. How To Heal From Religious or Spiritual Abuse

There are at least three basic realms of religious experience. Two of these three realms are mentally, emotionally and spiritually harmful or abusive. The realm of spiritual abuse is usually in mainline Christian groups. They misuse Scripture to control people.

To read and study more download the document below.

How to Heal from Religious Abuse 03181[...]
Adobe Acrobat document [413.6 KB]

15. How To Live With A Self-Centered Person

Everyone has some selfish tendencies but they can be reasoned with and can come to a mutually agreeable conclusion. The extreme self-centered person (narcissist) is different.

To read and study more download the document below.

How to Live with a Self-Centered Person [...]
Adobe Acrobat document [492.5 KB]

16. How To Rebuild From Failure

It would be great if after we became Christians we stopped making mistakes, failing, sinning or living in fear of failing. The sad reality is that we still sin, fail and make mistakes with family, kids, spouse, church, job and friends.

To read and study more download the document below.

How to Rebuild from Failure 012214 .pdf
Adobe Acrobat document [445.9 KB]

17. How to Respond to a Passive Angry Person

The overt angry person displays his anger openly; you can visually see and hear when he is angry. The passively angry person can be just as full of rage but demonstrates it in covert, secret, subtle or devious ways. He exerts his will passively. He is full of anger but is not loud, harsh or ranting and raving. His is a master at acting out his anger without the slightest hint of being agitated.

To read and study more download the document below.

How to Respond to Passive Angry Person 1[...]
Adobe Acrobat document [250.2 KB]

18. How To Use The Tool Of Journaling

DEFINITION: A writing process that spontaneously makes notes of selected significant past and present events. It has been referred to as “an excellent way to begin having a relationship with ourselves for perhaps the first time”. It is getting to know both the events and emotions of the past.

To read and study more download the document below.

Journaling 111214 .pdf
Adobe Acrobat document [269.8 KB]

19. How to Deal with the Destructiveness of Pornography

In the openness of the 1970s, pornography was viewed as harmless and even beneficial. In less than fifteen years the number of rapes doubled. 64% of Christian men (in the church) struggle with sex addiction or sexual compulsion, pornography, compulsive masturbation, secret sexual activities. 25% had affairs (sexual intercourse), 14% had sexual contact short of intercourse. 25% have abused alcohol or drugs; one third have not reached out to anyone for help because of embarrassment. Nearly every book in the New Testament commands us to avoid sexual impurity.

To read and study more download the document below.

Pornography
Pornography 031919.pdf
Adobe Acrobat document [801.1 KB]

20. How to Reason Beyond Suicide

There are seven suicides recorded in Scripture. All seven were men. In Scripture, we do not find any judgments on suicide. It is viewed as an act of deliberate self destruction.

To read and study more... download the document below.

Reasoning behind Suicide 110507 .pdf
Adobe Acrobat document [224.6 KB]

21. How to Reduce Anger In Children

In a national survey of parents, 70% indicated that if they had it to do over again, they would not have children. Why? Parenting is painful. It’s just plain tough

Reducing Anger In Children
Reducing Anger In Children.pdf
Adobe Acrobat document [636.6 KB]

22. How to Restore Lost Identity

Three major losses took place the moment Adam and Eve disobeyed God and ate the fruit that He clearly told them not to eat. God warned them of the results if they did (Gen. 3:1-7). Satan instantly accomplished the biggest robbery in human history. By succeeding in getting them to sin, he stole their sense of personal worth, their purpose in life and their identity. In the first century there were believers who attempted to get their identity validated by their association with certain people (I Cor. 1:12). God has restored the believer’s true identity, not through other people, but through his relationship with Jesus Christ (Gal. 2:20; Phil. 1:21; Col. 3:3).

To read and study more download the document below.

Restoring Lost Identity 082815.pdf
Adobe Acrobat document [708.4 KB]

23. How to Avoid Traps When Choosing A Mate

Many couples who go for counseling have many personal issues that do not have anything to do with their mate. They brought these into the marriage and now these issues affect the marriage.

To read and study more download the document below.

Traps to Avoid 040115 .pdf
Adobe Acrobat document [575.2 KB]

24. Ten Counseling Tips

A compilation of ten counseling tips in abbreviated format

To read and study more download the document below.

Ten Counseling Tips w TOC 091310 .pdf
Adobe Acrobat document [308.5 KB]

25. What Are Five Basic Aspects of Biblical Counseling?

Most people believe that counseling is giving information to people. But biblical counseling involves at least five basic aspects.

To read and study more download the document below.

Five Aspects 111214 .pdf
Adobe Acrobat document [384.9 KB]

26. What Are Five Benefits Believers Have to Work Through Problems in Living?

One of the biggest surprises that face new and older believers alike is the reality that they will still experience many of the same problems that non-believers face. Couples who divorce or don’t divorce, argue over the same things. This is a big shock for most new and mature believers because they may have been given the false idea that everything in their life would change for the good upon committing their life to Christ at salvation.

To read and study more download the document below.

Benefits 111114 .pdf
Adobe Acrobat document [396.6 KB]

27. What Are Four Characteristics of a Biblical Counselor?

There are two mental road blocks that prevent people from giving spiritual care to others. “Who am I to counsel others because I have so many problems myself?” and "I wouldn't know what to say." Marlin once told me, “I would like to be able to counsel others, but I have problems of my own to solve before I can help others.” Marlin thought he had to be near perfect before he could help others. So, if we don't need to be perfect to help others, what is God looking for? You might be surprised.

To read and study more download the document below.

Four Characteristics of Counselor 091714[...]
Adobe Acrobat document [663.5 KB]

28. Why Should Counselors be People of Holiness and Integrity?

Counselors in the USA are in the top three categories of professionals of those with a sex addiction. The other two categories are gynecologists and pastors.

To read and study more download the document below.

Integrity 030306 .pdf
Adobe Acrobat document [386.3 KB]